Is it? We should go. Eat a bunch of things on sticks that are probably bad for us.
[She grinned as she checked the water temperature and then slipped into the shower. Guin had missed the last one being away for work, but she liked social events like that. Having moved from California where she could always go to the beach or some sort of party she enjoyed anything where there was food and something to do. And that would be an easy way to take both of their minds off of heavier topics.
She let out a deep breath as the hot water rained down over her, letting it soak in for a moment before she moved out of the way so Jesse could get in. They had done this together often enough that she knew how they could fit together in the shower without bumping into each other. As she kept talking she started washing up, being careful when she brushed the washcloth over any spots that were still tender.]
I tell you I've started learning some languages? Not much, but first France and now Germany, I've had to learn a little to get around. [And keep from getting into trouble.] Makes me feel kind of cool. I've really picked up a lot of skills in the Navy.
[Which was what she wanted. To learn, to grow, to be something other than the mean girl stereotype she had been slapped with as a teenager. She was smarter than anyone had ever thought to ask and she knew she had to leave to find a real challenge. That didn't mean she didn't miss it. Maybe when her service was up she'd come home and buy one of those nice houses somewhere in town.]
Yeah. Couple more days left, I think. It's on through the weekend. And we should totally eat a bunch of shit we'll regret later. I mean, most people go for the food, right? Lookin' at a buncha hot air balloons is only cool for, like, a minute.
[ Once you get the pics of the cool ones, the novelty kind of wears off. Unless you're a tourist, it's pretty much the same shit every year. Jesse still finds himself returning year after year. Partially to see if there are any cool, new balloons. But mainly for the food stands. Jesse steps into the spray, sighing a little at the feel of the hot water. It's nice. ]
Nah, you didn't. So you're multi-lingual now, huh? Gettin' all fancy on me?
[ He teases, reaching up to slick his hair back instead of it getting plastered to his forehead. ]
That's cool as hell though. I know I say it a lot, but I really am proud of you. Goin' after what you want, y'know? Helping people. It's like...all noble and shit. You want me to get your back?
[ He holds his hand out for the soapy washcloth. ]
[ She hands it over and happily turns around, thinking on his words. She definitely has come a long way from school both in terms of her career (i.e. having one) and her attitude. Which was the plan. Guin set a goal and she was too stubborn not to get to it. ]
I'm glad you feel that way, though. And I mean, I'm proud of you too. I talk about you sometimes.
[ That might surprise him given she was half a world away working on important military things. But there was also a lot of downtime, and her partner was the kind of person to actually ask people about their lives and feelings. So naturally she told him where she had come from and about the one person who mattered to her. ]
It's really wearing on me but I don't know if I could do anything else. I like stopping bad guys. And I feel like I matter there, you know? Like people really see me. It's certainly giving me a lot more opportunities than I had by graduation. I just hate that it keeps us this far apart.
[ Jesse nods and takes the washcloth from Guin, scrubbing her back gently and trying not to press too hard on the bruised areas. He winces a little, glad that she can't see his reaction. ]
Proud of me? For what?
[ Jesse knows he's come a long way emotionally and maturity-wise over the years they've known each other, but it's not like what he does for work is anything positive. He wonders how long he'll stay in this business. Yeah, the money's nice, but it comes with baggage. A lot of it. ]
You should do what feels right. If you like it, then you gotta stay. You won't be far away forever.
I hope not. I go where they send me, and we seem to be doing good things.
[ Europe had not been what she expected when she signed up, but it had been her choice to take the transfer to Naval Intelligence. If she had stayed reading charts and screens she might still be floating somewhere a lot closer to Albuquerque. And a lot of what was said in briefings still went over her head, so she just believed it when they were told the missions were successful, not thinking too much past what was in front of her face. ]
But I mean like... you're a good guy. What you do might not be called that and of course you get into a lot of stuff, but you treat me better than any other guy I've ever been with. And I know I can trust you. And I know you make me happy. That's what I'm proud of. That I have you waiting for me and things we get to do together, and I'm not like on my own anymore.
[ He honestly can't imagine. He doesn't understand people who treat others like shit for no good reason. Yeah, he's morally grey when it comes to things like breaking the law. But Guin's right to think that it doesn't have any bearing on who he is as a person on the inside and how he operates. He struggles with treating anyone badly--even those who kind of deserve it.
Jesse slides the washcloth across the back of Guin's shoulders, and starts scrubbing at his chest as he steps out of the water, holding Guin's side gently as he switches positions with her so she can rinse off under the running water. He lathers himself up while she de-suds herself. ]
You gotta stop makin' it a habit to come home all beat up. I'm gonna start worrying every time you gotta leave.
[ Jesse squints, closing one eye to try and avoid getting the shampoo suds in his eyes as he works the lather into his hair. ]
Hey, I'm not planning on it. This just happens when you're playing with the big boys.
[ A sentiment Guin knows Jesse understands because he's in the same boat. Getting in over their heads and sometimes paying the price. If anything, she has it better than him because she has a partner whom she can trust. Brent has experience in the field and he knows she doesn't, so he tries to look out for her. It helps that he's over six feet tall and built like a wall. Guin sighs as she rinses off and then moves out of the way to allow Jesse to do the same, playfully elbowing him as they pass each other. ]
If you're ever able to get away, I'll bring you out for a day or two. Maybe meeting some people and showing you at least what I can show you might make it easier. Instead of me always coming to you.
[ A lot was classified. But at least he could put faces to names. ]
[ Jesse smiles and nods, but he honestly doesn't see Mr. White okaying him taking off like that. It seems like every time he has something he wants to do, Walt suddenly needs his help or gets into some catastrophe or another. It's a nice thought, though, and he holds hope that maybe his life will calm down enough for him to skip town for a little while and spend some time with Guin instead of always just waiting for her to come home.
Jesse rinses the shampoo out of his hair and the soap off of his body once Guin steps out of the water again. He catches himself looking at her and averts his gaze. Obviously he's seen her naked plenty of times before, but she hasn't been home in a while and he's missed her. ]
I'm gonna dry off before my fingers get all pruney. Meetcha out there?
[ He leans in to press a kiss to Guin's cheek before he steps out of the shower, grabbing a towel to dry his hair and body. Jesse leaves the bathroom once he's mostly dry, tossing the towel into the laundry basket before he finds a clean pair of boxers in his bag, tugging them on. He doesn't bother putting any more clothes on since Guin said she just wanted to hang out in bed, so he sits on the edge of the bed and then slides further onto the bed, lying on top of the covers as he stares up at the ceiling. ]
[ Guin follows behind a few moments later, having wrung out her hair and stepping over to the dresser to pull on some pajamas. This requires her to drop the towel hanging around her midsection but she's not shy around him, has no reason to be. And he might end up seeing her naked again considering who knows the next time they'll be in the same place. She gets a little handsy when she starts thinking about being apart from him for too long, although her current state might make any fooling around they get up to more awkward than sexy.
She climbs onto the bed to lay beside him, taking his hand. ] I'm really glad you're always here when I get back. I know you don't mind waiting, but it means a lot.
[ Even though he just spent all that time in the shower with her, Jesse finds himself watching as Guin drops her towel to change into some pajamas. He's clad in boxers himself, and the only reason he even put those on was because he didn't want her to feel like he was pushing for them to fool around. Yeah, he always wants her, especially considering it's been so long since the last time she was actually in the same room instead of some disembodied voice on the phone, but he's also not a jerk and he knows she's been through a lot. ]
I mean, you're always on my mind, Guin. Even when you're not here.
[ He gives her hand a little squeeze before he lifts it to his face, gently kissing along her skin. ]
Especially when you're not here.
[ He mutters the words against her hand before he lowers it back to the bed, his blue eyes flicking up to her face, a little smile growing on his. It's a mixture of happiness and woe, a song that his heart sings every time she comes home, knowing it's short-lived and she'll be gone again before he's ready to let her go. ]
[ It's unlikely as long as she's in her current assignment. Her team is specifically assigned to the European theater, so the entire group would have to go somewhere else, and there's not a lot of intelligence activity in New Mexico. But Guin wants to come home. On nights like these, she wants out of the high-pressure world of Naval Intelligence. Wants a reassignment to the local base where she can sleep in her own place instead of the hotel of the week.
What keeps her from asking is a sense of responsibility, knowing that she's doing something important and memorable, and not something more run of the mill. Not every soldier can do what she does. Sometimes she doesn't even think she can do what she does. If she keeps coming home banged up like this she has to start questioning her toughness.
But that look on Jesse's face makes her heart melt and she moves a little closer to him. Hoping to reassure him, both of them, with her proximity. ]
I probably shouldn't push my luck tonight, but how about we get up early tomorrow and fool around before we go out and eat more than we should? That way you find me sexy before I eat all the things.
[ The grin making clear she's joking and doesn't really think there's any chance he won't find her sexy. If Jesse were that shallow he probably would have been turned off the first time she came home bleeding. But she wants him just as much as she wants her. She's just hopeful that she'll be better after it after a night of TV and cuddling and maybe some making out. Anything that reminds her she's home. Literally and because she's with him. ]
[ Jesse asks, but he can't help but feel a little skeptical. He knows that Guin's in the military for the long run. She's strong-willed and smart. She wouldn't give up on something that she's already sacrificed so much for. But if it ever gets to be too much, and she decides to transfer somewhere nearby, Jesse'll be there. The same way that he always is whenever she comes home. The same way he tries to keep in touch with her, even if it's just a short text or a minute-long phone call whenever she can manage. It isn't easy, but he feels like she's worth it. There haven't been many people in his life who he felt really understood him. Guin's probably the one who's come the closest. He can't just let something like that slip away.
He slips an arm around her when Guin slides closer to him, just wanting to feel her close. He might not admit it out loud, but there are nights he dreams about her from time to time and wakes up clutching onto a pillow. They don't have to fuck for him to feel that way about her. It's deeper than that. ]
You know I'll never say no to that.
[ Jesse laughs a little, nudging Guin's shoulder and then pressing a kiss to it. ]
We can just chill tonight. No pressure on the morning, either. Though you know how I am when I first wake up.
Well, I mean... we don't get to see each other as often as we want.
[ She gives a bashful smile. Not knowing where she's necessarily headed next or how long she'll be away means she makes the most of every time she gets to see him. That includes usually flirting with him. Enjoying the physical companionship, even though she knows it's not necessary for him to care about her. She just needs to give herself time to recover before she can think about that part.
But this is what she's fighting for. Not for them, necessarily; she knows he'll always be here, and she will always keep coming back. But for other couples and other families around the world who deserve happiness and safety and security. Giving other people the opportunity by ensuring they don't get hurt. She may be out of her depth, may be tired of going through the wringer all the time, but she only complains to Jesse because it feels unfair when other people have it a lot worse. And for all her arrogance, if she can help change that, she wants to. ]
You ever think much about the future? Like, when we get older, what we're gonna do? Will we still be here or somewhere else?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
zvi
no subject
Date: 2023-10-16 01:03 am (UTC)[She grinned as she checked the water temperature and then slipped into the shower. Guin had missed the last one being away for work, but she liked social events like that. Having moved from California where she could always go to the beach or some sort of party she enjoyed anything where there was food and something to do. And that would be an easy way to take both of their minds off of heavier topics.
She let out a deep breath as the hot water rained down over her, letting it soak in for a moment before she moved out of the way so Jesse could get in. They had done this together often enough that she knew how they could fit together in the shower without bumping into each other. As she kept talking she started washing up, being careful when she brushed the washcloth over any spots that were still tender.]
I tell you I've started learning some languages? Not much, but first France and now Germany, I've had to learn a little to get around. [And keep from getting into trouble.] Makes me feel kind of cool. I've really picked up a lot of skills in the Navy.
[Which was what she wanted. To learn, to grow, to be something other than the mean girl stereotype she had been slapped with as a teenager. She was smarter than anyone had ever thought to ask and she knew she had to leave to find a real challenge. That didn't mean she didn't miss it. Maybe when her service was up she'd come home and buy one of those nice houses somewhere in town.]
no subject
Date: 2023-10-19 12:33 am (UTC)[ Once you get the pics of the cool ones, the novelty kind of wears off. Unless you're a tourist, it's pretty much the same shit every year. Jesse still finds himself returning year after year. Partially to see if there are any cool, new balloons. But mainly for the food stands. Jesse steps into the spray, sighing a little at the feel of the hot water. It's nice. ]
Nah, you didn't. So you're multi-lingual now, huh? Gettin' all fancy on me?
[ He teases, reaching up to slick his hair back instead of it getting plastered to his forehead. ]
That's cool as hell though. I know I say it a lot, but I really am proud of you. Goin' after what you want, y'know? Helping people. It's like...all noble and shit. You want me to get your back?
[ He holds his hand out for the soapy washcloth. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-10-19 03:47 pm (UTC)[ She hands it over and happily turns around, thinking on his words. She definitely has come a long way from school both in terms of her career (i.e. having one) and her attitude. Which was the plan. Guin set a goal and she was too stubborn not to get to it. ]
I'm glad you feel that way, though. And I mean, I'm proud of you too. I talk about you sometimes.
[ That might surprise him given she was half a world away working on important military things. But there was also a lot of downtime, and her partner was the kind of person to actually ask people about their lives and feelings. So naturally she told him where she had come from and about the one person who mattered to her. ]
It's really wearing on me but I don't know if I could do anything else. I like stopping bad guys. And I feel like I matter there, you know? Like people really see me. It's certainly giving me a lot more opportunities than I had by graduation. I just hate that it keeps us this far apart.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-19 07:28 pm (UTC)Proud of me? For what?
[ Jesse knows he's come a long way emotionally and maturity-wise over the years they've known each other, but it's not like what he does for work is anything positive. He wonders how long he'll stay in this business. Yeah, the money's nice, but it comes with baggage. A lot of it. ]
You should do what feels right. If you like it, then you gotta stay. You won't be far away forever.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-19 08:09 pm (UTC)[ Europe had not been what she expected when she signed up, but it had been her choice to take the transfer to Naval Intelligence. If she had stayed reading charts and screens she might still be floating somewhere a lot closer to Albuquerque. And a lot of what was said in briefings still went over her head, so she just believed it when they were told the missions were successful, not thinking too much past what was in front of her face. ]
But I mean like... you're a good guy. What you do might not be called that and of course you get into a lot of stuff, but you treat me better than any other guy I've ever been with. And I know I can trust you. And I know you make me happy. That's what I'm proud of. That I have you waiting for me and things we get to do together, and I'm not like on my own anymore.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-23 12:40 am (UTC)[ He honestly can't imagine. He doesn't understand people who treat others like shit for no good reason. Yeah, he's morally grey when it comes to things like breaking the law. But Guin's right to think that it doesn't have any bearing on who he is as a person on the inside and how he operates. He struggles with treating anyone badly--even those who kind of deserve it.
Jesse slides the washcloth across the back of Guin's shoulders, and starts scrubbing at his chest as he steps out of the water, holding Guin's side gently as he switches positions with her so she can rinse off under the running water. He lathers himself up while she de-suds herself. ]
You gotta stop makin' it a habit to come home all beat up. I'm gonna start worrying every time you gotta leave.
[ Jesse squints, closing one eye to try and avoid getting the shampoo suds in his eyes as he works the lather into his hair. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-10-23 01:55 am (UTC)[ A sentiment Guin knows Jesse understands because he's in the same boat. Getting in over their heads and sometimes paying the price. If anything, she has it better than him because she has a partner whom she can trust. Brent has experience in the field and he knows she doesn't, so he tries to look out for her. It helps that he's over six feet tall and built like a wall. Guin sighs as she rinses off and then moves out of the way to allow Jesse to do the same, playfully elbowing him as they pass each other. ]
If you're ever able to get away, I'll bring you out for a day or two. Maybe meeting some people and showing you at least what I can show you might make it easier. Instead of me always coming to you.
[ A lot was classified. But at least he could put faces to names. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-01 10:33 pm (UTC)[ Jesse smiles and nods, but he honestly doesn't see Mr. White okaying him taking off like that. It seems like every time he has something he wants to do, Walt suddenly needs his help or gets into some catastrophe or another. It's a nice thought, though, and he holds hope that maybe his life will calm down enough for him to skip town for a little while and spend some time with Guin instead of always just waiting for her to come home.
Jesse rinses the shampoo out of his hair and the soap off of his body once Guin steps out of the water again. He catches himself looking at her and averts his gaze. Obviously he's seen her naked plenty of times before, but she hasn't been home in a while and he's missed her. ]
I'm gonna dry off before my fingers get all pruney. Meetcha out there?
[ He leans in to press a kiss to Guin's cheek before he steps out of the shower, grabbing a towel to dry his hair and body. Jesse leaves the bathroom once he's mostly dry, tossing the towel into the laundry basket before he finds a clean pair of boxers in his bag, tugging them on. He doesn't bother putting any more clothes on since Guin said she just wanted to hang out in bed, so he sits on the edge of the bed and then slides further onto the bed, lying on top of the covers as he stares up at the ceiling. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-03 04:38 pm (UTC)She climbs onto the bed to lay beside him, taking his hand. ] I'm really glad you're always here when I get back. I know you don't mind waiting, but it means a lot.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-09 10:03 pm (UTC)I mean, you're always on my mind, Guin. Even when you're not here.
[ He gives her hand a little squeeze before he lifts it to his face, gently kissing along her skin. ]
Especially when you're not here.
[ He mutters the words against her hand before he lowers it back to the bed, his blue eyes flicking up to her face, a little smile growing on his. It's a mixture of happiness and woe, a song that his heart sings every time she comes home, knowing it's short-lived and she'll be gone again before he's ready to let her go. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-11-10 02:57 am (UTC)[ It's unlikely as long as she's in her current assignment. Her team is specifically assigned to the European theater, so the entire group would have to go somewhere else, and there's not a lot of intelligence activity in New Mexico. But Guin wants to come home. On nights like these, she wants out of the high-pressure world of Naval Intelligence. Wants a reassignment to the local base where she can sleep in her own place instead of the hotel of the week.
What keeps her from asking is a sense of responsibility, knowing that she's doing something important and memorable, and not something more run of the mill. Not every soldier can do what she does. Sometimes she doesn't even think she can do what she does. If she keeps coming home banged up like this she has to start questioning her toughness.
But that look on Jesse's face makes her heart melt and she moves a little closer to him. Hoping to reassure him, both of them, with her proximity. ]
I probably shouldn't push my luck tonight, but how about we get up early tomorrow and fool around before we go out and eat more than we should? That way you find me sexy before I eat all the things.
[ The grin making clear she's joking and doesn't really think there's any chance he won't find her sexy. If Jesse were that shallow he probably would have been turned off the first time she came home bleeding. But she wants him just as much as she wants her. She's just hopeful that she'll be better after it after a night of TV and cuddling and maybe some making out. Anything that reminds her she's home. Literally and because she's with him. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-17 05:39 am (UTC)[ Jesse asks, but he can't help but feel a little skeptical. He knows that Guin's in the military for the long run. She's strong-willed and smart. She wouldn't give up on something that she's already sacrificed so much for. But if it ever gets to be too much, and she decides to transfer somewhere nearby, Jesse'll be there. The same way that he always is whenever she comes home. The same way he tries to keep in touch with her, even if it's just a short text or a minute-long phone call whenever she can manage. It isn't easy, but he feels like she's worth it. There haven't been many people in his life who he felt really understood him. Guin's probably the one who's come the closest. He can't just let something like that slip away.
He slips an arm around her when Guin slides closer to him, just wanting to feel her close. He might not admit it out loud, but there are nights he dreams about her from time to time and wakes up clutching onto a pillow. They don't have to fuck for him to feel that way about her. It's deeper than that. ]
You know I'll never say no to that.
[ Jesse laughs a little, nudging Guin's shoulder and then pressing a kiss to it. ]
We can just chill tonight. No pressure on the morning, either. Though you know how I am when I first wake up.
[ Morning wood and all. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-17 12:00 pm (UTC)[ She gives a bashful smile. Not knowing where she's necessarily headed next or how long she'll be away means she makes the most of every time she gets to see him. That includes usually flirting with him. Enjoying the physical companionship, even though she knows it's not necessary for him to care about her. She just needs to give herself time to recover before she can think about that part.
But this is what she's fighting for. Not for them, necessarily; she knows he'll always be here, and she will always keep coming back. But for other couples and other families around the world who deserve happiness and safety and security. Giving other people the opportunity by ensuring they don't get hurt. She may be out of her depth, may be tired of going through the wringer all the time, but she only complains to Jesse because it feels unfair when other people have it a lot worse. And for all her arrogance, if she can help change that, she wants to. ]
You ever think much about the future? Like, when we get older, what we're gonna do? Will we still be here or somewhere else?